HOW SOON WE FORGET, GOD DOESN'T!!!!!

A FEW WEEKS AGO I FOUND MYSELF GOING THROUGH THE PAGES OF AN OLD NOTEBOOK THAT I HAD. AMAZINGLY THE FIRST PAGE THAT I COME ACROSS WAS VERY ASTOUNDING AND EVEN SURPRISING. THE TITLE SIMPLY READ "GOD SAID GIVE ME A SPECIFIC REQUEST." AS I READ THAT TITLE MY MIND IMMEDIATELY WENT BACK TO THE DAY THAT I WROTE IT. SUDDENLY IT WAS AS CLEAR TO ME AS THE DAY I WROTE IT.

IT WAS AROUND EARLY SPRING, LATE WINTER OF 2009. IF YOU ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH MY STORY THEN YOU WOULD NOT BE AWARE OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT SURROUNDED THAT TIME FRAME. IN SHORT I HAD JUST RETURNED TO BLOOMINGTON/NORMAL AFTER SPENDING 5MONTHS IN ST. LOUIS AND CHICAGO HOSPITALS AT THE BEDSIDE OF MY DEATHLY ILL FIRST BORN SON. HE PASSED IN SEPTEMBER 2008. THIS TRIAL DEFINITELY TOOK A HEAVE TOLL ON MY MIND, MY FINANCES, MY HOPE, AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN THINK OF THAT COULD BE EFFECTED. I WAS UNEMPLOYED AND LOOKING FOR EMPLOYMENT WITHOUT MUCH SUCCESS. BILLS WERE STACKING UP. MY HEART WAS SICK FROM HOPE BEING DEFERRED. MY MIND WAS PERPLEXED BECAUSE I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH. I FELT LIKE GOD WHY DON'T YOU HEAR ME? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ANY OF MY REQUEST.

SO THAT DAY I MAKE MY WAY DOWN TO THE CHURCH AND AS I'M WALKING TO THE DOOR GOD BEGINS TO SPEAK TO MY MIND. SOMETHING SAID YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN. SO HERE IS WHAT I WROTE ON THAT DAY EARLY IN 2009.

"GOD SAID GIVE ME A SPECIFIC REQUEST. MY FIRST RESPONSE WAS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO ASK? WHAT SHOULD I ASK? I'VE BEEN CONSISTENTLY ASKING FOR A LOT OF THINGS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN GIVE ME A SPECIFIC REQUEST?" GOD'S RESPONSE TO ME WAS: "YOU'VE BEEN ASKING ALL OF THESE GENERAL REQUEST. BUT I SAID GIVE ME A SPECIFIC REQUEST. HERE'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YOU ASK, GOD I WANT ANOTHER BABY, GOD BLESS ME WITH A JOB, GOD HELP ME TO HAVE THE RESOURCES TO FINISH MY RECORD. A SPECIFIC REQUEST WOULD BE AS FOLLOWS: GOD LET CORA CONCEIVE BY AUGUST AND LET US HAVE A BABY GIRL BY NEXT SPRING. GOD BLESS ME WITH A BASS PLAYER, AND DRUMMER WHO WILL HELP ME COMPLETE MY RECORD WITHOUT ROBBING ME."

I HAD FORGOT ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION BUT THERE IS A REASON THAT I WROTE IT DOWN. MY WIFE CONCEIVED IN JUNE/JULY OF 2009. WE HAD A HEALTHY BABY BOY ON MARCH. 29, 2010. BETWEEN THE MONTHS OF OCT. 2009 AND FEBRUARY 2010 GOD PROVIDED ME WITH EVERY RESOURCE THAT I NEEDED TO FINISH THE RECORDING PROCESS IN REGARDS TO MUSIC AND VOCALS.

HOW SOON WE FORGET BUT I'M GLAD THAT GOD DOESN'T. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO AFTER HE CHALLENGED ME TO TRUST HIM. ALL I HAD TO DO WAS RESPOND TO THE CHALLENGE. HE SENT HIS WORD AND IT HEALED ME. I WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE YOU WITH A CHALLENGE AS WELL.

YE HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOU ASK NOT. FOR IF YOU ASK YE SHALL RECEIVE, IF YOU SEEK THEN YOU WILL FIND, AND IF YOU KNOW THEN THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED.

GOD'S WORD WILL NOT RETURN TO HIM VOID. IF HE SAID IT IT WILL COME TO PASS. I CHALLENGE YOU ASK GOD FOR SOMETHING SPECIFIC AND THEN WATCH FOR IT TO COME TO PASS. BUT I'M A WITNESS THAT EVEN IF YOU FORGET GOD WILL REMEMBER.

LESS THEN IMPRESSIVE

LAST YEAR IN JULY 2010 I HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF LEADING THE WORSHIP SERVICE AND PERFORMING A COUPLE OF ORIGINAL SONGS AT OUR CHURCHES ANNUAL CONFERENCE. IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT YEAR WE HAD DARLENE BISHOP AND PAULA WHITE AS GUEST SPEAKERS. AS YOU MAY GUESS THE CHURCH WAS FULL. I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT. I FELT GREAT ABOUT MY PART IN THOSE SURFACES. THE EXCITEMENT OF THE MOMENT AND OF THE ATMOSPHERE AND THE MOMENT HAD ON A PERSONAL HIGH.

A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER OUR MEDIA DEPARTMENT PUT CLIPS OF MYSELF ON FACEBOOK. I CAN'T RECALL IF I EVER VIEWED THEM OR NOT. BUT I DO KNOW THAT I ENDED UP ASKING THEM (THE MEDIA TEAM) TO POST THOSE CLIPS ON YOUTUBE. OF COURSE, YOU CAN ASSUME I HAD NOT COME OFF OF THAT PERSONAL HIGH YET.

NOW FAST FORWARD ALMOST A YEAR LATER TO APRIL/MAY 2010. I FINALLY BUILT UP ENOUGH COURAGE TO LISTEN TO THE CLIPS. I WAS HORRIFIED WITH WHAT I HEARD. EVERY BAD NOTE, EVERY UNCLEAR SOUND, IT ALL SEEMED SO WRONG. I COULDN'T STAND TO LISTEN TO THOSE CLIPS ONE MORE TIME AND DID NOT WANT TO GIVE ANYONE ELSE THE OPPORTUNITY AS WELL. LIKE A CONSTANT FLOW OF A RAINY DAY I REPEATEDLY TOLD MYSELF, "YOU NEED TO GET THOSE CLIPS TAKEN OFF ASAP."

I WAS MOTIVATED BY MY OWN SELF WILL. HOW COULD I LET ANYBODY HEAR THIS AND I'M PREPARING TO RELEASE MY FIRST RECORD? WHO WOULD WANT TO BY MY STUFF AFTER LISTENING. IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MY BRAND. IT'S NOT IMPRESSIVE ENOUGH.

THEN ONE SUNDAY IN JUNE A LADY COMES UP TO ME AFTER CHURCH. THIS LADY HAD LOST HER TEENAGE DAUGHTER ONLY A FEW YEARS AGO. SHE WOULD GO ON TO TELL ME THAT IT WAS AROUND THE ANNIVERSARY OF HER CHILD'S DEATH AND THAT SHE WAS HAVING A ROUGH TIME AT HOME. THEN SHE SAID SHE RAN ACROSS MY CLIPS ON FACEBOOK AND LISTENED TO THEM OVER AND OVER, AND COULDN'T STOP LISTENING. SHE LOOKED AT ME AND TOLD ME YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CAN HELP SOME ONE WITH YOUR MINISTRY.

AT THAT MOMENT I WAS HUMBLED. I WAS MORE CONCERNED WITH BEING IMPRESSIVE, BEING ACKNOWLEDGED, BEING CELEBRATED, ETC., THEN BEING USED BY GOD. BUT THE TRUTH IS WHAT IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN. GOD IS NEVER IMPRESSED BY THE TONE OF YOUR VOICE, THE SKILLFULNESS OF YOUR PERFORMANCE, OR WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE. HE GAVE THEM TO YOU. HE'S ALSO NOT DETERRED BY YOUR LACK THEREOF. THE WORLD AND THE CHURCH OFTEN TEACH US THAT WE HAVE TO BE AWE INVITING, EXCEPTIONAL AND IMPRESSIVE IN THE GIFTS THAT WE ARE GIVEN. HOWEVER AS I LOOKED OVER MY LIFE IN MINISTRY ONE THING HAS BEEN VERY CONSISTENT AND SURE. GOD HAS DONE THE MOST THROUGH ME DURING THE TIMES THAT I FELT LESS THEN IMPRESSIVE. WHEN I DECREASED HE GAVE AN INCREASE.

GOD DOESN'T CHOOSE OR USE AS MEN DO FOR MEN LOOKS ON THE OUTWARD APPEARANCE BUT GOD LOOKS ON THE HEART. SO WHAT IF YOU WOWED THE CROWED IF THE INNER MAN IN GOD'S EYES WAS "LESS THEN IMPRESSIVE."

I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!

AS A CHILD I CAN REMEMBER THE VARIOUS WAYS WE WOULD USE TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER. WE WOULD DO ALL KINDS OF THINGS TO PLAYFULLY INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER. HOWEVER THERE WAS THIS ONE THING THAT JUST AGITATED ME MORE THEN ANYTHING. THAT IS WHEN SOMEONE WOULD PLUG UP BOTH EARS WITH THEIR FINGERS AS I WAS TRYING TO TALK WITH THEM AND THEY'D BLURT OUT, "NA NA THE BOO BOO, I CAN'T HEAR YOU....! IT FRUSTRATED ME TO KNOW END TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE WAS PURPOSELY NOT LISTENING.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A VICTIM OF SUCH CRUELTY? WOULD YOU NOT AGREE THAT IT IS A MOST FRUSTRATING THING TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE CAN HEAR YOU BUT REFUSES TO LISTEN?

I WONDER IF GOD GETS FRUSTRATED WITH US THIS WAY? ARE WE SOMETIMES JUST LIKE MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS? DO WE HEAR GOD AND CHOOSE TO PLUG OUR EARS, REFUSING TO LISTEN OR RESPOND? I KNOW IT MAY SEEM FAR FETCHED THAT WE WOULD PLUG OUR EARS TO GOD AND SAY "NA NA THE BOO BOO, I CAN'T HEAR YOU." BUT PERHAPS WE MAY DISCOVER THAT WE DO THIS MORE OFTEN THEN NOT. CONSIDER THIS FOR A FEW MOMENTS.

DON'T WE PLUG OUR EARS TO GOD WHEN WE HAVE OUR HEART SET ON DOING SOMETHING? IS NOT OUR MINDS MADE UP WHETHER GOD APPROVES IT OR NOT? WE PLUG OUR EARS TO GOD EVERY TIME WE BRIEFLY GLANCE IN THE WORD OF GOD TO FULFILL OUR RELIGIOUS DUTIES BUT GIVE OUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION TO OUR FAVORITE T.V PROGRAM. WE PLUG OUR EARS TO GOD EVERY TIME WE GIVE HIM A TWO MINUTE CONVERSATION WE CALL A PRAYER BUT QUICKLY REMOVE OURSELVES RUSHING ON TO THE NEXT ACTIVITY, NEVER EVEN LISTENING FOR A RESPONSE FROM GOD. WE PLUG OUR EARS WHEN WE GIVE 100% OF OUR ENERGY TO OUR JOBS, OUR DREAMS, AND OUR CAREERS AND ARE LEFT WITH ALMOST NOTHING TO GIVE TO OUR GOD.

CONSIDER THIS AS WELL; HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HEAR GOD SAYING "GIVE THIS," AND WE SAY, "THAT'S TOO MUCH." OR WHEN HE SAYS "GO HERE," AND WE SAY, "THAT'S TOO FAR." HOW OFTEN DOES HE TELL US TO WAIT AND WE SAY "THAT'S TOO LONG." AND FINALLY, HOW MANY TIMES DOES GOD SAY SIT THERE AND BE STILL AND WE SAY "I'VE GOT TOO MUCH TO DO, OR I NEED TO GO HERE AND THERE?

THE TRUTH IS I COULD GO ON AND ON WITH EXAMPLES OF HOW WE BLOCK OUT THE VOICE OF THE LORD WHEN IT BECOMES CONVENIENT FOR US. BUT I WONT. I'LL JUST ASK YOU! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU LOOKED UP TO GOD, PLUGGED YOUR EARS AND SAID "NA NA THE BOO BOO, I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

BE BLESSED.